Oh. My. God. This one might have done it. This could have pushed me over the edge. I. cannot. even. Hello Alice in Wonderland!!! Trinity? My face just fell clean off of my body.

I think my jaw officially just fell out of my mouth or something and hit the floor at this Starbucks that I'm at, writing the appellate brief that is due in a few days. 

I. have. never. Oh. My. God. 

People are definitely looking at me like I'm a little nuts (fair point, touché) as I literally just pulled an LOL (laugh out loud). This is too much. This is too much. I'm just speechless. Is this real life? Am I Keanu Reeves in the Matrix or something? Should I change my name after this misdemeanor business and (potentially) appealing it and definitely seeking to get it expunged? I'm thinking I might change my last name as an homage to Keanu Reeves in the Matrix to...Mr. Anderson. What do you think? David Anderson? 

Hmm, not sure what I think about that one. Might have to "put a pin" in that and let it simmer for a bit. Maybe there are better names out there. 

But really? My mouth just hit the floor. This is some "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" type stuff. 

I mean, someone or some people are legitimately crazy. There is no escaping "crazy" in this case. There's just not. Now, it could be me. It could be. We'll probably be finding out in the next week to a month or so, but "sanity" has left the building. Goodbye, See ya! Hasta la vista! Wow. Wow. Wow. 

Everytime I think that there's nothing else that can shock me, I get shocked. I am in shock. I wish I could tell you. 

I give up. I give up. I give up. David in Wonderland? 

I literally cannot even. I. cannot. even. Someone? I might need one of those padded cells or something so you can't just go and run and bounce off the balls or something, you know? This one might have put me over the edge. I. just. cannot. with this one. This cannot be real life. I'd like to request a padded cell, please?

This is too much. I'm stunned and I'm speechless. David has left the building. Mr. Anderson is here now, apparently. 

Forget my jaw falling to the floor, I think my entire face just fell off and hit the floor. Does anyone have any Orange Marmalade I can borrow? I'll give it back. I think. 

Can someone please pick up my jaw that just hit the floor at this Starbucks? What in God's Green Earth...

I think this might call for a new blog site. The world will know what happened here. The world. I might have 100,000 blogs by the time I'm done with this if they think they're going to get away with this. The world. The world. The world. 

https://unitedstatescyber.blogspot.com/

https://livefreeordieguy.blogspot.com/

Who are you?” said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I hardly know, sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”

“What do you mean by that?” said the Caterpillar sternly. “Explain yourself!”

“I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, sir,” said Alice, “because I’m not myself, you see.”

“I don’t see,” said the Caterpillar.

“I’m afraid I can’t put it more clearly,” Alice replied very politely, “for I can’t understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.”

“It isn’t,” said the Caterpillar.

This conversion between Alice and the Caterpillar is quite a mind-boggling one, though compared to some later on, it is a mere warm up. At least, this one shows the incompatibility of standard English with literal and logical English.